I didn’t go on the trip to Italy. I was still suffering from depression and cripplingly low self esteem at the time. I also had a mental dependency on Jacob. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to go out of the country for two weeks and not be able to talk to him in that time. It sounds stupid now, but it was the right decision.
Everything has changed for the better in the last two years. I am fully recovered from depression, and I think I am ready to go on a cultural trip and get that experience. I will miss Jacob, but we will have Skype etc.
The trip will last 10 days. One of those days will be my birthday. What a bummer… Jacob is sad that he won’t get to spend my birthday with me. I am too, but I can’t control the dates of the trip 😦
I wonder if he really doesn’t want me to go. This morning he told me he was “on the fence” about me going. I’ve already made a commitment to go, so I’m not sure how to interpret that. I think we. Feel the same way: it’s very sad that I will be gone on my birthday and we will miss each other greatly, but it’s a great opportunity that I shouldn’t pass up. And like I said, we have Skype. That is, if I am ever available to talk while he’s not at work!
Everything will be ok. Right?